I'm applying for a Canadian passport renewal and needed to put down three references that they can call to confirm my identity. I put down fLufFy, Edeel and my mother. They've all known me for several years, so they should be able to confirm my identity, right?

All three were called today. Here are the results.

fLufFy told them I was "tallish, around 5'9", average build" and that she believed that my hair was currently dyed blonde. Then she says we'd known each other for 15 years, which is a little off but close enough.

Edeel texts me to let me know that he thinks he screwed up. He was eating lunch with Seanpile at the time, and when asked what I looked like, he needed Seanpile's help (way to go Deelia), and they got something out about my height and that I had ear piercings.

Well, at least my mother must know what I look like. I just got a text from her: "I have to give a description of you. What did you put for hair and eye colour?"

I hope these guys don't witness a car crash any time soon. "A car hit that woman. Or man. At least I think it was a car. It may have been a moose."

This isn't going to make sense for 95% of you, but for the remaining 5% who happened to be born in the same era as me and watch the same films on repeat that I did, remember this?

Every time I'm headed out on a trip to new countries I've never visited before, I can't help but hum through the song a few times. Heading out for a trip to Europe next week, so I updated my travel map to include the new locations. Though there's a lot of dots on the map, there's also a lot of large areas without dots, like, say, the whole southern hemisphere.

So anyway, I'll be off eating baguette and napping on beaches for a couple of weeks. Maybe if you're all very, very good, I'll post a picture. But don't count on it.

Light-Bot is an adorable little game where you issue commands to a tiny robot to have him light up the blue squares in his dreary world. A few levels in, however, and you start running out of space in your "Main Method" section and have to rely on the clever use of functions to prevent repeated code. Take a break from your monotonous Wednesday to play Light-Bot for a little while.

Facts that you might not have known about Germany:

1. In Munich, people dress up and wear black mage hats. Don't tell me it has something to do with Oktoberfest. I know a black mage when I see one.
   
   
2. There's a bank here called Sparda Bank. When you walk by, it's important to always yell: "THIS - IS - SPARDA BANK!" It gets funnier every time.
   
   
3. Germany is really cold in late September. Everyone here wears a scarf and heavy jacket. If I wanted cold, wet weather, I'd've stayed in San Francisco.
   
   
4. When learning a few key phrases for getting around ("please", "thank you", etc.), it's not worth learning how to say "sorry". As in, you accidentally bump in to someone and want to know what to say quickly to apologize. It's like a hundred words long.
   
   
5. Jar Jar Binks isn't any more tolerable when he's speaking German on TV at 2 am because you're jetlagged and can't sleep.
   
   
6. I've been told that "Geschwindigkeitsbegrenzung" (speed limit) is a real word, and not just someone trying to cheat at Scrabble. The web tells me that "Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz" is a valid German word as well. It's like this language was invented by dropping a bucket of cats onto a keyboard. I can do that too. "hfdushfuhsfjdkshfjksdnbcfdsjkfgru".
   
   
7. You have to go to an apothecary to get cold medicine. I want Tylenol Cold, not a [Super Mana Potion] to quaff.
   

That's all for now, but I'll keep you guys updated as I learn more.

So you arrive in your hotel in Milan. The guy at the front desk insists, in Italian, that he's going to take and keep your passport. This makes you feel a little insecure, but you silently snicker to yourself that this is why you (semi-illegally) keep a backup passport from your other citizenship in your bag.

You go up to your room, drop your bag off in your room, and decide to head out to the city for dinner. Milan! Woohoo. Pizza and pasta! Let's go!

You walk to the end of the hallway and press the "down" button on the elevator. Nothing happens. You wait two minutes. Nothing happens. You press it again a few times. Nothing happens. You press and hold it. Nothing happens.

Okay, so here are your options...

1) Do you push the lowest button on this elevator panel? Notice how there's an up and a down button and then this strange miscellaneous third button which is marked only by braille. What could it be for? Do you press it?

2) Do you go down this emergency staircase which may or may not set off an alarm? Hmm. No signage. Do you try the stairs?

You're stuck on the 4th floor until you do one of these things. Which will it be? The possibly-alarmed button or the possibly-alarmed stairs?

Hint: one will get you to the lobby. The other will cause your hotel to fill with firemen. Pick wisely. Which do you choose? PICK ONE!

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in Milan, stay the hell away from everything the tourists do.

It's your last night in Milan and you have to pick somewhere to go for dinner before heading out to Nice tomorrow morning. Do you:

1. Go to a restaurant near your hotel where they speak English and a bowl of American-looking pasta costs €billion?
   
   
2. Look up the fanciest and highest-rated restaurant in Milan on Google and wait in line for three hours because they don't take reservations?
   
   
3. Wander around the quiet neighbourhoods looking for the food that the locals eat and then realize that Milan is too far north in Italy for the locals to eat traditional Italian cuisine and half of them grab takeout from that Chinese place on the corner (while the other half eat at home because it's Sunday and every store outside tourist-town is closed)?
   
   
4. Spend the day wandering the little Milan market along the canal and pick up some fresh peaches, cheese and sausages to bring back to the hotel?

Hint: Though all answers offer dinner, one answer is the tastiest.

Today's plans:

1. Eat frenchy B&B breakfast.
   
   
   
2. Walk along the Promenade des Anglais to get to Old Nice.
   
   
   
3. Pick up some fruits and veggies for lunch at the amazingly colourful Nice market in Old Nice.
   
   
   
4. Come back to the B&B and sit on the balcony, relaxing in the amazing view, and read a book in the sun.
   
   
   

Yes, quite a hectic day ahead.