This morning I left my apartment to head out to the shuttle and walked past a guy bent down next to a motorcycle, making quiet sawing noises. A closer examination revealed a tiny handsaw and he glanced up suspiciously when he saw me walk past and then knelt back down to continue his work. In some ways, I don't blame him for not running; with that tiny little handsaw he's probably been working on that U-lock for the last 6 hours.

I took a few more steps and called 911.

Operator: "Hello, emergency."
Me: "Uh, hi. I just walked by someone trying to steal a motorcycle, just outside of [my address]."
Operator: "Okay, it's 6:43 am and you said he's just outside of [my address]?"
Me: "Yep, that's right."
Operator: "Yeah, that'll happen at this time."

She continued to get identifying information about him and then said someone was on his way. (Sure enough, two minutes later two cop cars with their lights off drove by.) But her line there stuck with me: "Yeah, that'll happen at this time."

I hope that she doesn't say that when everyone calls.

Someone: "Hi, 911? I'm running from three guys with knives. I think they're trying to kill me! Please send someone! I'm just outside of Civic Center station!"
Her: "Civic Center station? Yeah, that'll happen there."

Someone: "I just walked into my house on Christmas Eve and there's a body swinging from the ceiling! I think my husband killed himself!"
Her: "Christmas Eve? Yeah, that'll happen at this time."

Someone: "I think someone is trying to kill me and cut open my corpse and crawl inside for warmth."
Her: "Are you on the planet Hoth? Yeah, that'll happen there."

Seriously? Yeah, that'll happen? I think someone's been working the 911 call center for too long.

For a number of holiday related queries -- from festivus poles to christmas trees, to snowmen, to menorahs, and more -- for the next couple of weeks, Google will sometimes show a special holiday divider alongside the ads.

That's a little "happy holidays" straight from my team to you.

Someone on metafilter recently asked for a suggestion of upgrades to one's household items. Here's some things that come to mind for me. These are all items which are upgrades on other, cheaper ways to live life, but now that I've spoiled myself with them, I'm not sure that I could do without. If you're looking for gift ideas for the holiday season, consider buying some of the below for someone you care about.

• Le Creuset cookware: If you're making soups, stews or bisques in anything else, you're doing it wrong. Though the 9 qt french oven will run up to $250+, these were built to last in a "I'll pass this down to my grandchildren" kind of way. Everything cooks beautifully in it, from soups to ribs. Hardly a week goes by where I don't use mine at least once.
  
  
• Heating bag: Heating bags are these little filled bags that you put into the microwave for a few minutes and they get intensely warm and stay warm for a long, long time. When I'm feeling sick, I just carry one around with me in the house. Feeling stressed? Put it on your shoulders. Cold bed? Shove it into the bed a few minutes before you climb in. You can buy these ($25), or make your own if you're more crafty-inclined but they quickly become a must-have item.
  
  
• Real table salt: If you're still using common salt on your food, you're not living. Immediately go buy yourself some high quality table salt ($11) and I promise that you'll notice a difference immediately. Rather than make your food taste salty, this salt enhances the flavours already present in your dish. And while you're at it, get yourself some small wooden salt bowls (these cost $22.50, but you should be able to find them for less than that if you check your local cooking store). The bowls should be just big enough to let you pinch some salt and toss it into whatever you're making; keep one full of salt next to your workspace/stove, and put a few on the table when serving guests.
  
  
• Rice cooker: If you've been making instant rice (that 5 minute stuff that looks like cheap oatmeal) or even stovetop rice, you've been doing things the gross and hard way. Go buy a rice cooker right now. They vary a lot in price, but you can get a decent one for under $40 and the quality doesn't change a lot as you go down the pricerange, it just offers fewer features. Pro tip: if you make a large batch of rice in your rice cooker, you can freeze ziploc bags of a single serving of rice (freeze while still warm) and then microwave it and it tastes fresh and delicious. Makes it easy to add brown and wild rice, which take a hundred years to cook, to a last minute dish.
  
  
• High-quality headphones: If you've never tried on a pair of Bose headphones, go find out where you can try them out near you (for example, a lot of Apple Stores now demo their iPods with Bose headphones). They're expensive, but they make an enormous difference, even for people who aren't sound quality snobs.
  
  
• Good tea: Stop buying Liptons or generic-label earl grey and invest in some good teas. Republic of Tea Ginger Peach is a lovely warm tea with a subtle fruit taste, excellent for sipping on a sunny afternoon while reading a good book. My new everyday tea for when I just want something simple but nice is Mighty Leaf's Chamomile Citrus, or their Marrakesh Mint if I'm looking for a green tea.
  
  
• Excellent knife: I cannot recommend the Komachi Santoku knife enough. Yes it's purple (that's right, purple), which may raise a few eyebrows, but don't be fooled. It's very lightweight with a full tang and scalloped edge; it's meant for every day use -- this will be what you pick up when you want to cut vegetables. For only $15, you'll be amazed how much this knife outperforms all your others.
  
  
• Cloth napkins: Don't buy these online. Go find a store and touch them all. When you find the cloth napkins that make you go "ooo", you've found the right ones. Buy enough that you don't have to do laundry every second day (you should be saying to yourself "hmm, this may be too many").
  
  
• Tide pen: Go buy three of these right now. You can get them at your local drug store and probably grocery store too. They're just a few bucks and useful for emergencies when you spill your coffee all over your white shirt. I keep mine in my backpack at all times, and they're one of these things that you might only use once a month, but when you need it, you need it, and you're so glad that it's there. A lifesaver.
  
  
• Garlic braid: For under $20 you should be able to get a braid of garlic that you can hang in your kitchen. Not only do they look pretty, the real benefit of having the garlic braid is that you never again have to think to yourself "hmm, do I still have garlic or do I need to buy more?" I didn't know how much I needed this until I got one.
  
  
• Demi-glaze: Demi is like a very concentrated stock and, in the words of Anthony Bourdain, the reason why things always taste better in fancy restaurants. Making your own demi-glaze is certainly an option, but if making it sounds like an obstacle, look for it in specialty grocery stores or order it online. It can get pricy, but a spoonful of this stuff turns soups, stirfries and sauces into extremely rich and flavourful awesomeness.
  
  
• Air Tunes: For about $100 you get an Airport Express which doubles as a wi-fi base station (small enough for you to take with you when you travel). Then plug in your speakers to the little box and suddenly you can stream your iTunes music wirelessly to your speakers from any laptop on your network.

There's my morning "how to upgrade your stuff" list. What stuff have I forgotten? What upgrades could you no longer live without?

This isn't your typical "solve problems" game. Auditorium, which is currently demoable on Flash and will one day be available on the iPhone, is a truly beautiful game -- not only pleasing to the eye, but especially to the ear.

I don't want to give much away, but even if you've never followed a gaming link I've posted before and you don't particularly like computer games, you should at least click through, wait past the intro sequence, and try out the first (easy) level or two. Make sure your computer volume is on.